SurfiOnline

I received the following in an email today from a friend, i thought it was quite funny..

Life isn’t like a box of chocolates, it’s more like a jar of jalapenos — you never know what’s going to burn your ass.

I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either.

I love deadlines. I especially like the Whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

Tell me what you need, and I’ll tell you how to get along without it.

Accept that some days you are the pigeon and most days the statue.

Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn’t there the first time, chances are you won’t be needing him again.

I don’t have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the fuck is the ceiling?

My reality check bounced.

On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.

I don’t suffer from stress. I am a carrier.

You are slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.

Everyon e is someone else’s weirdo.

Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.

A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.

Don’t be irreplaceable – if you can’t be replaced, you won’t be promoted.

After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.

The more Shit you put up with, the more Shit you are going to get.

You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.

So this isn’t Home Sweet Home … Adjust!

Ring bell for maid service. If no answer, do it yourself!

I clean house every other day. Today is the other day.

I came, I saw, I decided to order take out.

Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves for they shall never cease to be amused.

I’d live life in the fast lane, but I am married to a speed bump.

Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without a boner, make him a sandwich!

What should you give a man who has everything? A woman to show him how to work it!

How can you tell which bottle contains the PMS medicine? It’s the one with bite marks on the cap.

Adam and Eve virus: Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.

Airline virus: You’re in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.

Anita Hill virus: Lies dormant for ten years.

Arnold Schwarzenegger virus: Terminates and stays resident. It’ll be back.

AT&T virus: Every three minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.

The MCI virus: Every three minutes it reminds you that you’re paying too much for the AT&T virus.

Bill Clinton virus: This virus mutates from region to region and we’re not exactly sure what it does.

Bill Clinton virus: Promises to give equal time to all processes: 50% to poor, slow processes; 50% to middle-class processes, and 50% to rich ones. This virus protests your computer’s involvement in other computer’s affairs, even though it has been having one of its own for 12 years.

Congressional Virus: Overdraws your computer.

Congressional Virus: The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.

Dan Quayle virus: Prevents your system from spawning any child processes without joining into a binary network.

Dan Quayle virus: Simplye addse ane ee toe everye worde youe typee..

David Duke virus: Makes your screen go completely white.

Elvis virus: Your computer gets fat, slow, and lazy and then self destructs, only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations across rural America.

Federal bureaucrat virus: Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which do practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of the computer.

Freudian virus: Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own motherboard.

Gallup virus: Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38 percent of their data 14 percent of the time (plus or minus a 3.5 percent margin of error).

George Bush virus: Doesn’t do anything, but you can’t get rid of it until November.

Government economist virus: Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.

Jerry Brown virus: Blanks your screen and begins flashing an 800 number.

Madonna virus: If your computer gets this virus, lock up your dog!

Mario Cuomo virus: It would be a great virus, but it refuses to run.

Michael Jackson virus: Hard to identify because it is constantly altering its appearance. This virus won’t harm your PC, but it will trash your car.

New World Order virus: probably harmless, but it makes a lot of people really mad just thinking about it.

Nike virus: Just Does It!

Ollie North virus: Turns your printer into a document shredder.

Oprah Winfrey virus: Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands back to 200MB.

Pat Buchanan virus: Shifts all your output to the extreme right of your screen.

Paul Revere virus: This revolutionary virus does not horse around. It warns you of impending hard disk attack—once if by LAN, twice if by C:.

Paul Tsongas virus: Pops up on December 25 and says, “I’m not Santa Claus.”

PBS virus: Your PC stops every few minutes to ask for money.

Politically correct virus: Never calls itself a “virus”, but instead refers to itself as an “electronic microorganism”.

Richard Nixon virus: Also known as the “Tricky Dick Virus”, you can wipe it out but it always makes a comeback.

Right To Life virus: Won’t allow you to delete a file, regardless of how old it is. If you attempt to erase a file, it requires you to first see a counselor about possible alternatives.

Ross Perot virus: Activates every component in your system, just before the whole thing quits.

Ted Kennedy virus: Crashes your computer but denies it ever happened.

Ted Turner virus: Colorizes your monochrome monitor.

Terry Randle virus: Prints “Oh no you don’t” whenever you choose “Abort” from the “Abort, Retry, Fail” message.

Texas virus: Makes sure that it’s bigger than any other file.

UK Parliament virus: Splits the screen into two with a message in each half blaming other side for the state of the system.

Warren Commission virus: Won’t allow you to open your files for 75 years.

I had work today. All day. Mothers day. It was a rather interesting day and perhaps one of the more interesting days at work recently.

I came home, and decided to read up on news.com.au, the Entertainment section.

Greener pastures for Banas
[quote]ACTRESS Michala Banas has joined the cast of hit TV series McLeod’s Daughters after losing her role with Always Greener when it was axed last year.

The actress-turned-pop star played city girl Marissa Taylor on the Channel 9 show.
[/quote]
Funny, i thought that Always Greener was aired on Channel 7? McLeod’s Daughters is aired on Channel 9. I wonder if anyone else picked up on this.

I noticed on smh.com.au, here that Van Helsing has been panned by US and British critics. It was described as being a lavish episode of Scooby Doo, and a beautifully shot film but poorly scripted and acted. I was planning to go see this movie sometime during the week or on the weekend. Maybe not now, as it looks like a waste of my [i]precious[/i] time.

The weather seems to be getting a lot colder down under.. Winter is finally setting in. Where are my good old trackies!

An 18-year-old German high school student has admitted creating the Sasser internet worm, police say.

The worm spread through an estimated 18 million computers across the world last week, continually shutting down and rebooting them.

The teenager was arrested on Friday in the town of Rotenburg in northern Germany, and has now been released.

Read More: BBC News

Well, I finally got off my lazy rear end and registered a domain for this place. [b]surfiOnline![/b].com.

Along with the new domain, I have also redesigned the site. The new version is a more graphically enhanced and based design than the old one. I also got rid of the “tabbed” navigation at the top as it was not as expandable as i would have liked it to be.

Many more things to come..

Chris

NSW TRAINS authority RailCorp has sent in software engineers to find the source of the outage that left up to 300,000 commuters stranded yesterday, saying the new Sasser worm, which has already spawned two variants, is being evaluated as a possible cause.

A RailCorp spokesman confirmed that software engineers were investigating the problem, which prevented drivers from talking to signal boxes. A virus attack was one possibility being investigated, he said. RailCorp was unable to confirm when the investigation would be complete.The Local Security Authority Subsystem Service (LSASS) vulnerability exists in versions of Windows XP, Windows 2000 and Windows Server 2003. Microsoft advised of the problem and issued a patch April 13.

Read More: AusralianIT

Please make sure you keep your operating system and antivirus software up to date using the corresponding update facilities.. We don’t want ourselves looking like fools, like the NSW RailCop has made itself look.. :rolleyes:

Does Microsoft Care About Web Standards?.

This is something that has often been coming up whilst I have been developing MyBulletinBoard, this site, as well as other client work. Here we are specifically talking about Internet Explorer and its compliance with the W3C standards in XHTML and CSS.

Although Microsoft is a member of the W3C, Microsoft seems to somehow develop its own standards and features into its HTML Parser.. We’re talking about things such as the image opacity in CSS, ‘glowing’ text, as well as many general things such as how DIV tags are rendered in Internet Explorer.

From the article,
[quote]Standards compliant web developers are well aware of the myriad of hacks required to effectively use web standards in the most popular web browser on the planet. It’s as if Microsoft takes pleasure in making the simplest tasks near impossible. Search Google for Interent Explorer CSS Hacks and you’ll find tens of thousands of pages devoted to working around Microsoft’s browser. It’s been noted that these same hacks will likely come back to haunt us all at some point in the future. It seems quite apparent that IE’s CSS quirks are greatly responsible for many web developers’ failure to embrace xHTML and CSS as the standard method for developing websites. IE’s poor support for standards has given a generation of web designers the impression that the standards are broken.

If Opera and Mozilla are capable of supporting web standards, why can’t Microsoft? In fact, it seems like small, independent software developers and the Open Source movement are leading the way, while Microsoft is barely keeping pace, despite its presence in the organization responsible for developing these standards.[/quote]

I personally think Microsoft needs to wise up and start completely following these standards, it would make Web Development alot easier to not have to worry about how the page is going to be rendered in each browser, just as long as the page follows the standards.

Well, something completely unexpected.. I come home from school today to see a screen full of Microsoft Outlook errors saying it can’t find my POP3 server.. I try to access mybboard.com via HTTP and to no avail. I ask our Server Administrator whats up and he says the server has been experiencing a DDOS (Distributed Denial of Service), and I later found i was the target for this attack because someone holds a “grudge” against me from a kline i placed on them two months ago.

I hate the internet in its current place where people can think they can rule and dominate it because they abuse their place on the internet and bring down whole servers or networks. The internet was not designed for this.. but this appears what these little “dos-kiddies” and “script-kiddies” do on the internet these days.

Something else interesting.. irc.msgplus.net [#msgplus]:

[b][21:16] M (~msgplus@tide73.microsoft.com) has joined #MsgPlus[/b]

Its not every day we see a Microsoft Employee on our servers, especially ones that actually talk!

[Note: These are the personal views expressed by Chris Boulton, not the MyBulletinBoard group.]

Well, my old and [i]not-so[/i] faithful Nokia 3350 has now died on me. It still works, sometimes.. It just has issues.

So yesterday during my 30minute break at work I decided I would go out and buy myself a new phone! I ended up buying a Nokia 3100 because it is fairly cheap for what it can do ($249 AU). It has a colour screen, polyphonic ringtones, full calendar, multimedia messaging, and WAP (except VirginMobile Australia dont support WAP :@).

Its a fairly small phone (101.8mm x 24.8mm x 15.2mm) and only weighs 85 grams.

I am fairly happy with it, heck, a phone is a phone, isn’t it?

Here is the Nokia specifications page for it.

Now all i need is the data cable..

I’ve uploaded a screenshot of my May 2004 Desktop if anyone is interested..

I like it, its a simple desktop, and very clean.